J I L L K A N D E L

View Original

Courage to Look Forward

I skimmed through them, reading bits and pieces to my husband. We laughed at how much we’d forgotten.

Glamping. Once was enough, thank you! We’d forgotten how noisy campgrounds are.

Pickleball. Our first ever game. I’ll never be good at it due to balance issues, but man, I loved playing!

Two new types of zucchini in our garden. Yes, to the Englisher Custard. No, to the Crookneck.

What fun to watch them grow and play. Pouncing on each other. Chasing each other.

  • My 50th High School Reunion!! It was a blast see so many old friends. Some I hadn’t seen for, really, 50 years!

  • A flight to Phoenix. My first flight in three years. I survived. We hiked. It was sunny, hot, and wonderful!

  • Speaking at the NDSU Press Party for my book release! What a fun evening. I was presented with a mug and a piece of cake that looked like my book jacket.

We never really know ahead of time how things will turn out. And yet we step forward and give it a go.

As I skimmed my journal, I was encouraged. Even in a year of hard won days and slogging through brain injury recovery, there were great moments, good times, and accomplishments. Here are five of the things that stood out.

I researched and wrote the story of my grandmother, Sophia Jensen. In doing so, I learned so much about her life and got in contact with several cousins I hadn’t talked to in years. The librettist who read the story liked the section about Sophia’s friendship with her sister, Minnie. The opera music is currently in production, and my neighbor (who started this whole ball rolling) is going to sing Sophia’s part. Hold your hats! It’s opening in New York and will be coming to Fargo! I’ll be sure to post the details when I have them.

Making an audiobook was also quite unexpected. My publisher, Autumn House Press, began the process when they applied for and received a grant. I was given the option to read it myself and said, “Yes!” Absolute Studios in Fargo was a dream to work with. So, yes. So Many Africas: Six Years in a Zambian Village is now available in paperback, e-book, and audio versions.

One of the highlights of the year was hosting my sister-in-law, Andrea and her friend Frits. It was Andrea’s first trip to the U.S. We took them to Theodore Roosevelt National Park and stayed in a wonderful cabin for three nights. The four of us also traveled to Duluth. They were amazed at the vast open spaces, the quietness, and the wilderness spaces. Things that are not available in the Netherlands. Our time together was very special and definitely a highlight of 2023.

One of the big changes of this past year was that my husband retired. He calls it his ‘Refocus’. I threw a big surprise party for him that he still marvels at. “How did you do that and I didn’t have a clue?” he asks me. I guess I’m more devious than he knows! The Refocus Party went off smoothly and included all the children, grandchildren, confetti, balloon, gifts, and a wonderful Thai takeout meal. Having him home has been wonderful!

I’ve been wanting to paint another self-portrait. The last one I painted was 8 months after my brain injury, when I didn’t feel like myself and was trying to figure out who I was. Now, almost three years later, I’ve been curious. Who am I now? Painting, like writing, is one of the ways I learn. So. A second self-portrait. I titled it “Facing the Wind.” What else can we do? Just face that winds and carry on.

I’ve been knitting a lot this past year. Mitten, hats, and Knubblechen Dolls. But the last big project of 2023 was starting to knit a sweater. I haven’t knit one since the 80s and I chose one that was a big challenge. A Norwegian Mitten Sweater that had lots of new stitches I didn’t know. I’m not done with it yet, but am on the last sleeve. It’s coming along grand. I’ve learned how to wrap & turn, how to do a 3 needle bind-off and ... YIKES ... how to do steeking. The Norwegian art of knitting in the round and then cutting the sweater open to make sleeves and to make the whole thing into a cardigan! It’s been such a joy to learn new knitting skills and to watch the sweater grow.

Looking back has given me the courage to look forward.

To continue to try new things. To reach out and do what I can. Looking back reminded me of Annie Dillard’s eloquently words.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

May your memories of 2023 bring you joy.

May your memories give you the courage to look forward. To enjoy 2024 with all its mysteries and hopes.

Happy New Year!

Love always,

Jill