Frozen Bubbles and Impossibilities

Autumn House Press received it’s shipment of books from the press and  called to ask how many books I’d like to order.

I have no idea.

There are 48 books per box. I buy them at 40% off sticker price. So at $10.77 per book, each box costs me $516.96. If I order four boxes, I get 192 books. Can I sell 192 books? If I order 5 boxes, I get 240 books.

It’s all a dark mystery to me. How many should I buy? Will people buy from me or from Amazon? Will people come to a book signing? Do I want hundreds of my own books stacked in my basement for the next decade? What if I order too few? What if I order too many?

Some days I ask myself, “Why was it that I decided to become a writer?”

On those days, I think about blowing bubbles in my garage when it is minus 30 degrees. The bubbles freeze and float on air, heavy as words. I cup them in my hands. Impossible. But there they are, perched on my palm.

Being a writer seems like that to me today. Like a frozen bubble. Impossible. Delicate. Beautiful.

Four boxes of books have shipped and are on their way to my house. Soon I will hold them in my hand. Ten years ago, this was my impossible dream.  I stand back and hold it and yet it still seems like it can’t be real.

Wishing you all very Happy Holidays: may you hold your dreams in the New Year.


PHOTO: frozen bubble, North Dakota, on a COLD January Day 

Jill Kandel
  • Gianna
    Posted at 13:34h, 19 December Reply

    I love impossible things. Graduating. Writing. Going places.

    Here’s to your impossible – the things that happen. And here’s to my impossible – things mostly yet to be.

    • Jill Kandel
      Posted at 20:34h, 20 December Reply

      Yes, I agree. Here’s to our impossibles!

  • bert kandel
    Posted at 15:02h, 23 December Reply

    Hi Jill, do you ship to foreign customers? I would like to order 5 books ( for Andrea,Hannah,Bob,Gemma and us).
    Love, Bert

    • Jill Kandel
      Posted at 12:50h, 28 December Reply

      I’ll Facebook you, Bert. Thanks for asking!

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